The K Word

One really big obstacle I'm running into when I finally do find guys I like is that I'm a single mom. Guys hear the word "kid" and run screaming for the hills! Thought it might be worth noting my current thoughts on my love life and my family life.

I know I've already said... or maybe I didn't but surely I've implied that I'm looking for a long term relationship. Naturally that means anyone who dates me will have to like my kid too. That doesn't mean I'm looking for someone to be "my baby's daddy".

Given the fairly narrow field of men for me, I am open to long distance relationships. I am planning a career change so I'll need to move in the next couple of years anyway. If I find a guy, and we develop special feelings for each other, I'm more than willing to move nearer to him. At this point I don't think I'd consider moving in with a long distance guy even if the online relationship seemed perfect.

I would love a monogamous relationship where we live in separate homes but spend lots of time together developing our "in person" relationship. I don't have to see him every day but I definitely want to talk to him every day. I'd like a regular date where we might go out or stay in and cuddle on the couch watching a movie or chatting. Of course intimacy (sex) would be wonderful!

I'm sure some would ask, "Why not do all those things and live together too?" The answer lies sleeping upstairs as I type. I have more than myself to consider in the decision to cohabitate. Even if the adults in a household decide that they will not share parenting, children often decide otherwise. A child deserves to live in a home where all the adults love him/her unreservedly and unconditionally. It's not logical to expect a man who's never met my child to be as in love as I am. I would not want my child's heart committed to a man who couldn't equally commit his heart. So, at least at the moment, I think a relationship in two separate households is the way to go.