Settling Part 2
I forgot to talk about a very important part of the "settling" equation. Lots of the men I talk to tell me that it's sometimes challenging to find a mate when one has a disability. Hearing that statement from so many different men has led me to wonder just how likely it is that my future partner will consider a relationship with me "settling".
I would like a partner who chooses me because he loves my personality and my sense of humor; someone who respects the things I believe in and stand for even if he doesn't share all the same ideals and beliefs. I want someone who loves me enough to put up with my faults for the rest of our lives. I want to be chosen by a partner who picks me because he can't imagine a life with anyone else. I don't want to be the woman he chose just because I'd have sex with him.
posted by Devorella @ 6:55 AM
14 Comments:
At 8:03 AM,
Anonymous said…
Wow Devorella... This thought has often gone through my mind... The man I eventually hope to be with would be one of the major focuses of my life, and I want to be just as important to him. I've had 2 relationships with disabled men, one made it clear how important I was (he died)... the other often made me feel that I was just filling time and space. I just hoped his feelings for me would deepen... they didn't and I became totally invested. NOT a good situation. This is SUCH a hard place to be sometimes... Sharon
At 8:46 AM,
Anonymous said…
I think whats more important, is what's inside...I know that's an old line, but I believe it to be true. here is a poem I wrote;
Perfect in My Eyes
All I ever wanted was to be a part of your heart,
For us to be together and never being apart.
No one else in the world can even compare,
You're perfect and so is the love we share...
We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.
I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll do anything for you as long as I live....
In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
By the way you look at me, I know it will last.
I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are, when seen through my eyes...
At 6:11 AM,
Anonymous said…
We are not all the same thank god.
I don't expect chicks to fall all over me or feel sorry for me because I am disabled.I try to live a normal life.Being lonely and rejection is part of the deal.
Some of us can be lucky.However I am very single.People should not judge us we all have our own story.I have joined clubs for disabled persons late in life and made some email friends.But nothing much has changed as yet.I dont think I will meet anybody on line but its worth a chance.Most of my friends are like me.
Nothing has come of my email contacts but I have a open mind.I have some female Dev's/Admirers and found them ok.
I am just coasting along enjoying life.I hear what people say.
At 6:47 AM,
Anonymous said…
I dont understand people at times.Why not go to one of Ascotworlds conferences which are held twice a year and meet one of us.Most of my friends my self included dont mind Dev's/Admirers.
You never know if you dont go.
At 1:47 AM,
Anonymous said…
Some people tend to judge us. We are not all on welfare.Many of us are contractors or self employed.I don't mind Devotee's or Admirers who I have a few of on the net.People should read more before getting into a relationship because it could end in tears.So think well before getting involved.
I am still single at 59 with little chance of finding a partner.
A friend of mine said someone will come along but I dont know about that.Some of my friends are like me and are in the same boat,but thats life.
This is a great blog.
At 2:51 AM,
Anonymous said…
I have found most websites for disabled persons a waste of time and don't bother now.Some of my friends have given up also.
Most ablebodied persons that contact us dont know what they want.I dont know what they expect!
I stay with my circle of fiends which is much better.
At 6:44 PM,
Anonymous said…
Looking at websites for disabled persons I have found many lonely people.Living in a out of the way place does not help.Some Devs contract me on the net sometimes for a chat which is ok.One lady was straight to the point,she wanted a relationship with a man who was double amputee in a wheelchair or was a shd,so you never know what to expect.
At 1:32 AM,
Anonymous said…
This is not ment to be a lecture so dont take this the wrong way.
Many disabled people like me now have have both hip and shoulder problems caused by the long term use of crutchers or wheelchairs or both.I am a single male over 50 now facing a hip replacement among other things.Costs of replacement items are high EG:non adjustable titanium forearm crutches made by"fetterman".This should give some people a better idea of how we live.
At 12:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
Well most of us want the same thing.There is no point waiting for Mr Right so why not take a chance with one of us?Some of us are not perfect like myself.When some see the word congential they run a mile but let them I say.Thats why many like myself join clubs for differently abled person.We try so much harder to make our way in life.So its something to think about.lol
At 7:57 AM,
Anonymous said…
Its no big deal being a disabled person.Just that we plan ahead.
I have given up looking for a partner.
Sitting back enjoying life now.
I don't drink,smoke,gamble.
Just glad to be alive.
A few Devs have contacted me in the past,but were time wasters.
At 6:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
Have looked at all of this stuff from what I can see most female Devs don't know what they want.I will remain single for ever which is fine.
At 12:58 AM,
Anonymous said…
Be bold.
At 4:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
Why not just join Ascot World website many are looking for partners.
At 8:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
Some are like me disabled with mobility issues just looking for friends.
Have never married,very single.
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